about Kali

Death is not extinguishing the light:
it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come.
— Rabindranath Tagore

Dear Family and Friends,

It is with unbearable sadness that we share this news. As many of you have already heard, our
daughter, Kali Antonia Belfiglio-Suarez, was delivered on Tuesday, October 26, 2010, at 7:00 am.
After 31 weeks, she left us as soon as she came. She was a beautiful baby girl with a full head of
black, curly hair and long fingers and toes. She weighed just shy of four pounds and was 15-1/2
inches long.

Through ultrasound, we were able to see Kali’s heartbeat begin to decline, moments before Gabriella
was rushed to the operating room for an emergency C-section. The NICU doctor immediately tried
to revive Kali, whose heart by this time unfortunately had stopped beating. Her cause of death was a
rare complication of pregnancy: concealed catastrophic placental abruption with mild preeclampsia.
We’ll never know why this happened, and why none of the classic symptoms of this
complication presented themselves beforehand.

Kali is named after the supreme Hindu goddess associated with eternal energy, time, and change.
She represents the interconnectedness between birth and death, creation and destruction,
encouraging us to face the harsh reality of our mortality as part of the celebration of life.

We are slowly coming to terms with our loss. Our hopes and dreams for our daughter have been
tragically cut short. Acceptance and the act of letting go are proving to be immense challenges.
Rather than being taught by us, she is now our greatest teacher.

We will need your help in this time of healing. We welcome your love, your visits, and your calls.
Some moments we are stronger than others, so don’t be discouraged if we do not answer the phone:
please try again. Email us to see when we might be available for a visit or to share a meal.

On Sunday, November 7, we held a short memorial service at Green-Wood Cemetery followed
by a pot-luck reception at Brooklyn Society for Ethical Culture.

We have tried to reach out to the people for whom we have contact information; please feel free to
help us spread the word to anyone who you think would like to know.

With love,
Gabriella and Marg

Click here to view PDF version of this letter.